NSTP (CWTS) Journal 4

How About Me?

This meeting, we started a bit late because our facilitator, is of course, late, but it's okay. It's not his fault. Going back, substitute entered our classroom and asked us to watch a video entitled "Canvass of Society". The title sounded familiar to me that it bothers me a lot to know what it is and based on it's title, it would most likely be connected to paintings because of the word "canvass". I usually get easily interested in some topics that has relation in music, arts, and something that is for kids.

As we patiently wait for the video to be fully downloaded, I and my friends had a little chat. At last, the video is ready to be watched. As the video started, I saw the painting of Christ in the "Last Supper" but it is different because instead of Him having supper with the twelve apostles, He is with different children. It then reminded me that I really have already watched the video which is also presented in the gathering that I attended on world youth day. That was about two years ago and I did not remembered most of the contents of the video but I actually remembered the feeling that I had after watching it then. Anyway, since I didn't remembered much of the contents, I just watched it again. And then again, I felt the same way back then when I first watched it. In words, I can describe it the feeling that I had with the words: sadness, disappointment, pity, fear, and hope. 

Last week, we had our exposure day as I described and discussed it in the previous journal. I am interested in what my blockmates experienced in our exposure. And so, a sharing was declared. Some of us shared their stories and described what the did that day.

Here, I said that I had different feelings about the clip and the explanation of those will give my conclusions. First, sadness, which I felt because there are still people there outside experiencing hardships while we or I, if I may say, are already lucky but still had some times that we are not yet satisfied with the things that we have. Now that we think about it, the people like them have no more time to complain and they can still smile and live their lives ordinarily that they don't even complain about their problems in life. Second, disappointment, in here, as I said in at the first, satisfaction. Another is we, who have the ability to help them are not doing anything for them, but we just continue to increase our greed. Disappointment in us, because they, who are already the less fortunate, seems that they are much close to God than us. We should go deeper and think about it more. Third, pity and fear are conjoined. I pity them because they are less fortunate and they always deserve to be equal with us that I also had fear for them that they might do dangerous acts or lose hope. Lastly, hope, I always dreamed and hoped for a better world. It sounds like impossible, childish and broad but take it seriously and think about it. =)